Thursday, April 6, 2017

the time to wait

"What if what you're scared of
is just out-of-practice excitement?" he asks.
And for a whole hour, I lay there, still,
letting my heart thaw out its sad volcano,
as he grazes and kisses me
like he has the time to wait.

matter

will you fuck me like i matter? 
i actually asked someone this one time

after he said to me, 
tell me you want me

i said, is that what you need to hear?
and he said, yes

and i said, okay, 
i want you so fucking bad
put you cock in me right now

and he entered me
and the hard of me softened 
into a volcano of sadness
and i asked it

i asked,
can i ask you something vulnerable?
with his hard dick tucked inside me
yeah... he said softly, earnestly

and i looked him square in his circular eyes
will you fuck me like i matter?

and he said, oh my god, you think you don't matter?
rachael! rachael! 
you think you don't matter?
and i said, yeah, soft as a mouse

and so he tried
and so did i
to let him love me
even though he didn't know me
could barely see me
definitely didn't feel me

and i didn't feel the relief 
i was hoping for

but i did know 
there was more

than not mattering