Maybe pleasure is
A laugh, a disappearing
Fear, a forgetting.
How deep must your forgetting
Go, to get to your remembrance?
Maybe pain forgets
Nothing. Holds every ache like
A starving child.
Except, not even. Because
Starving forgets for survival's sake.
Maybe something wild
Out of left field (like god?)
Can help me deal with
The possibility that
I might have to love your suffering.
Funny, at first I
Thought maybe god could help you
Feel less pain, as if
You're the one who needs god and
This "god" thing can take away pain.
I wrote once a tiny
Prayer, "To crack all the
Way open. To give everything
Away." Now I know better
Than to think myself powerless.
Maybe love is the
Real ish we all wish would come
Hold us, on nights when
Pleasure is a trickster tale
And hurt is an answered prayer.
I wish I could be
the carriage for that love
The pumpkin that ushers
Her in, the shoe, the romance,
The dance, the dance, the dance. I
Feel so stupidly
Romantic, as if romance
Is dumb, as if it
Never saves the day, as if
Betting on love is naive.
As if betting on any
Thing is unenlightened. Fuck
Enlightenment. I want
Attachment that saves. I want
You to want to stay alive.
I want you to feel what I
Feel because that is
How I feel myself, through you.
Otherwise I might
Disappear, and that is not
Something I'm prepared to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment